What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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An Asian Man Has His Eyes Wide Open

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bipolar NO I'M NOT!!

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What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he was dead

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what did the old lady die of old age...

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What's the difference between a dead dog lying in the middle of the street and a dead black man lying in the middle of the street? The physical differences you would commonly expect to be between a human being and a dog.

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David Silberberg is gay

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"Hheheheh Hey Butthead"- "Were Gonna Score!"

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Did you hear about the gay midget? He came out of the cupboard.

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If there are anti jokes why are there no uncle jokes?

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A black man orders a pizza to be delivered to his house. He is delightfully pleased at the speed in which the pizza was delivered and decided he would order from that pizza shop again in the near future.

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why couldn't the boy write his name because he had no arms.

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How did Elmo get his show? Because the kids loved his furry ass and hoped to be on with dorthy

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Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

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just imagine like a whole mark no imagine like 1000 marks an army of marks ready to conquer

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Why did little Sally drop her ice cream? She got ran over by the school bus

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A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

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I heard a scary rumor that when you plzy a windows istaller cd backwards, it plays a secret message, but what's even scarier, is that when you play it forwards, it installs windows.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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