roses are red violets are blue you know what? im sick and tired of this joke.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She just graduated university and thought she would celebrate with a beer.

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i know leaves are green because of chlorophyll but i don't know how to get a mortgage this is the kind if shit your parents pay for

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What is the difference between a dog and pile of dead babies? One of them is alive.

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whats long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

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How to open an orange? You don't you peal it

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A coach and a priest walk into a boys and girls club and kick out all the girls.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a moscito? There are several differencies. Firstly, the elephant is a mammal and the moscito is an insect.

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Friends are like snow; they disappear when you pee on them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a donkey

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence in prison.

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Aaaaakkkkkiiiiiinnnnfffffeeeeennnnnwwwwaaaa

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What's the ultimtate guerilla camoflauge at night time? Black people.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I know.

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Okay, so your school has a fire drill, and a ginger asks why the alarm went off. You reply, “Some new kid saw your hair and pulled the fire alarm

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why did the chicken cross the road? to commit suicide.

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An atheist and a priest agree to a public debate. The priest doesn't make much of an attempt to argue because there is a young boy in his podium giving him a handjob.

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Why did the constipated man go to the bathroom? To intentionally throw up; he has an eating disorder.

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what is red and lies in all four corners of the room? a baby that was playing with a chainsaw.

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Cacti are green Clouds are white Spoons are silver Corn is yellow Carrots are orange Asphalt is black Grapes are purple Cinnamon is brown Lets's have sex

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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