Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? yea, neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the autistic man say to the woman? I have autism

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red Violets are red My lawn is red My fences are red It appears my garden is on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the elephants get in a taxi? They were going to the airport.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I hate all races.. Especially the 400 meter sprint

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Hey, i just met you. And this is crazy! But im on bathsalts ! *GAUH* Your face looks tasty!! :D

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Why did Frank have a big horse named Bubba? A: He was allergic to cats

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than going in the wrong direkshun? ...My spelling

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Women have the right to vote.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you make an electrician cry? You cut off his friend's penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why couldnt james zatts swim? he was half black

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what do you do to get a guy to vomit?? kick him in the balls!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did Helen Keller say to Michael Jordon before she died? Nothing...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the kid jump? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? They were both once alive and innocent, I lied about the black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops