Roses are red Violets are red The grass is red OH MY GOD, THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!!

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What's round and red? A red and round solid.

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josh roberts goes to church to take advantage of religiously confused young boys

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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On her day off, a fully clothed stripper walks into a bar she's never been to before. The regulars turn their heads to see who has just walked in, then turn back to their own conversations.

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What is a chair?

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Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

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A man was caught by the Aztecs for stealing from their tombs. The Aztecan chief said,"Sometime during the next week I will kill you, but I will do it when you least expect." The man was then given a room. He deduced that he couldn't be killed on the last day, Saturday, or else he would see it coming, so it must be before Saturday. He then deduced that it couldn't be on Friday, because he would expect it to be before Saturday. He used this logic to rule out every other day of the week, therefore the Aztecan chief would never kill him. He was killed on Wednesday.

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How do you tell the difference between a pig and a sea pig? If you open your mouth and it fills with water, you are an idiot

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved

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Why did the boy fall of his BMX? Because someone threw a dish-washer at him.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up which puts resistance on his arms and therefore strengthens his arm muscles and performs physical exercise.

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What was the last thing going through the man's mind who cleans the 90th floor windows on the World Trade Center on 9/11? The 91st floor.

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Why couldn't the black kid buy a bike? He had no money.

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69

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How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and there wasn't a sufficient wheelchair ramp at his access.

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today at school... I learned about all the core subject plus the additional electives.

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Your momma's so fat in her history class they wrote down what they were doing

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Why did the baby fall down from the tree? It was dead.

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What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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