You shouldn't have expectations. They make ex out of pect and tations.

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What ticks and makes a very loud noise? the bed

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What did your mom say when Quinn Griffith Randel walked in the door? Hi.

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What do you call the CEO of a successful company? Rich.

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what do you tell a woman with one black eye? "sorry about that wild ball, you played a fantastic softball game otherwise"

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What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

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Why was the girl crying on the busy street? She was naked.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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Why do Native Americans own Casinos? Because it's a very profitable business situation.

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R.I.P. Steve Jobs

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thomas!!!!

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a doctor.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah

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Why did Visellet stop eating cherries? Because she choked on a pit and died.

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Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

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whats green at the bottom of a hole and covered in cookie crumbs a girl scout run over by a truck

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses only the finest ingredients.

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What does Helen Keller order at McDonalds? Food.

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Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, but the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk!

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A man walks into a bar gets hurt and falls over

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We don't know if he even did, how would we know why? There were no cameras at the intersection he crossed at. Therefor the question is unanswerable. Unless the chicken admits to it........ ........ Chickens can't talk.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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what's funnier than hell? heaven

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a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops