In Soviet Russia you drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A guy starts writing a gag for a joke site. But then he couldn't think of a punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. Why? A. To get to the other side. A. Knock, Knock. B. Who's there? A. The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What has four wheels, two wings, and flies? A bird...I was kidding about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q:What do you call a duck that can fly? A:Bird.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's half of 8? o

thumb_up thumb_down -32

what did the Nazi do when his Jewish rabbit died? silly Nazi rabbits don't have religion

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Two ducks are in a bathtub. One duck says, "Hey, pass me the soap." The other duck says, "What do I look like, a type writer?"

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A muslim is working quietly in his 3rd floor apartment complex bedroom. ~~~~ He's been working on high explosives for 8 months now, preparing to kill innocent people.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you count all the jews in a village? The United States Census Bureau usually has reliable data so I would start there

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Knock knock.. Who's there? Breaking. Breaking who? Im breaking up with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you get 4 Jews in a car? Open the door and tell them politely to get in.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A bartender walks into the man and the bar said nothing because it was inanimate.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you get a boy out of bed, you cut off his fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you address a gay, jewish, african male? You can't, as addressing a person would imply mailing them. And that would violate their human rights. As well, the cost of shipping a package of that size would be rather prohibitive

thumb_up thumb_down -34

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passenger seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Knock Knock DAMMIT WOMAN MAKE ME A SAMMACH

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A man walks into a bar and says he has a talking dog. He is then taken to a mental hospital and diagnosed with schizophrenia.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What's the difference between a black man and a bag of crap? Quite a bit. The black man is a human male of the Kingdom Animalia, while the bag is an inanimate object. The only similarity between them would be that they both contain organic matter.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Knock knock. Who's there? Three months to live. Three months to live who? The C-Scan showed a massive, inoperable tumor in your brain that's been developing for years. You have only three months to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Q: What's funny about a gay man being raped by men for being gay? A: The man's personality

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops