what do you do when you see a black guy with half a face. call an ambulance because hes most likely in serious pain

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split your ass cheek

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Whats the next Line? YAH YAH YAH YAH YAH....

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

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kknocckkck knockckkckccck hue's theeeair? TTThhe pOOOliCCee. fffor whaaa? yyouu rr arreesstedd forrr drrunkkkc dddrivvinnng! Puuut urerre frreaakkki'n hannnddss uppp!

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Hey, did you guys hear what happened the Steve Jobs? He died.

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Q: What happened when Cupid shot his arrow into the guys heart? A: He died

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Yo mamas so ugly that when she looked out the window, she was arrested for mooning.

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I just witnessed a horrible accident today! It was like a silent movie, but with SOUND!!!!

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Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete jumped out. Repeat was concerned-not only because his name was typically used as a verb and not something parents normally name a baby, but about why Pete would jump out of the boat? Pete wondered what to do next-should he jump in and see if Pete is okay? He also wondered if he should he change his name to Kevin.

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An asian man walks into a bar He buys a drink.

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What rhymes with Hitler? Walt Disney.

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Your mama's so skinny; she can fit into most swimsuits sizes 4-6 and has a rather petite bottom.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Bat-mobile? - "Robin, get in the Bat-mobile"

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The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout. Heavy rain came down and killed him.

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Why did the little boy have to go to the hospital? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a train.

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Roses are red Grass is greener I think of you when I play with my weiner

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What's black and blue and red all over? The dead woman in the dumpster.

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What does society have in common with laundry? They both get ruined when you mix colors with whites.

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Fathers Day at Tyrone's house.

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Why did Kim Kardashian's and Kris Humphries marriage last so long? It didn't

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"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

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What do you say to a black guy who is holding a gun to your head? Nothing. He is holding a gun to your head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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