What starts with a 's' and ends in 'ex'? Sex -XH

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At home, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 10 mins, it's 3:30. At school, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 20 mins, it's 3:40 and schools been finished for ten minutes.

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A brick bent down to suck my flapjack, Then he got stuck, oh what the unpleasant, This angered the brick, he lay on the grass, he shoved a stick straight up his bellybutton.

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies? girl scouts

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Gun Control

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What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

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Whats, red, blue, green, yellow, feels like popcorn, looks like jello, tastes like hydrogen peroxide and smells like burning logs? i dont know. i was asking you

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A man and Sasquatch are walking down the shoreline on the eastern coast, the man looks back at the foot prints in the sand, he notices that during the hardest parts of his life, there were only one pair of footprints, while in his easiest moments, he sees two pairs of footprints; the man is disturbed about this and he asks Sasquatch this. "Sasquatch, Although you have always promised to be with me in my life, I see that when I needed you most, you were never there. Why is this Sasquatch?" Sasquatch replies, "HREAAHAHG?!"

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who is gay for wild ones- Ryan Mcgggguigan

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Q: whats the differences between a bra and the canucks?? A: a bra has two cups

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Why did the heroin addict get staff infection? His skin broke open multiple times without proper cleansing.

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Your Moma so fat, she would roll down a hill.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had come upon them and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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well it rained all night the day i left, the weather it was dry, i can't remember the words but susana don't you cry oh susana don't you cry for me for i come from alabama with a banjo on my knee oh

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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What's worse than getting shot in the face? Nothing really because that could leave you seriously handicapped for the remainder of your life or there is a good chance that you are dead.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had several drinks, conversed animatedly, and heartily enjoyed themselves.

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Yo mama is so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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What did the blonde say when she was asked what color her hair was ? Blonde.

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To commit suicide thus getting to the other side(hell/heaven)

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Donald Trump

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Q: What's worse than the holocaust? A: 2 Holocausts

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Three men went into a bar; one was blind, another deaf and the third was mute. The blind guy said "Did you SEE that?" The deaf guy said "WHAT?" And the mute said "...."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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