Whats worse than getting a parking ticket? The Bubonic Plague

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Q: why did the blind man walk off the bridge? A: because he was blind.

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what's the last thing you want to hear during surgery? your wife complaining

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The dinosaurs aren't really extinct. Just kidding.

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its all aodhan

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poop

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what's 9+10? 19, not 21

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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your mommas so fat i like fat cows is she home?

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an indian woman works at seven eleven. this is because her son has one leg and she needs to pay pay for all the medical needs.

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Women Sports.

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What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? Nothing. Nothing happens when you insert batteries backwards

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How do stop a clown from laughing? Hit in the face with a hatchet.

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knock knock who's there? the milk man the milk man who? the milk man who brings your milk every morning

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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My dog has no dictionary. How does he spell terrible?

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how big is the moon? why the hell are you asking me?...dumbass.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

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I tell the Doctor I'm having pains in my chest. He says that sounds serious and admits me immediately to the hospital.

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Knock knock Who's there? I Love You! -Harrison

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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what is the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops