Spoiling your fun. Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the fuck are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming?

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The MLS

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What's long, hard, and full of seamen? An ejaculating penis.

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What's worst than the Holocaust? No Wi-Fi

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Sometimes I fantasize about having sexual relations with Oprah Winfrey. Sometimes I don't.

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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roses are red violets are blue cover me im goin in

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roses are red, violets are blue, tom cruise is gay

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Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

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What do you call a man with no friends? Terry

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yo' Mamma's so fat when she stepped on the scale, she said "hey, that's my phone number"!

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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what did the lamp say to the hand? You turn me on

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A man became infected with Staphylococcal Food Poisoning. The doctor said, "You only have 24 hours to live." He died 24 hours later.

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

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whats a cross between michael jackson and arnold shwarzanegga? Michaelwasanigga

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A man goes to a doctor and says , "My arm hurts in 3 places." the doctor says, "Dont go to those places.

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a dog ate my homework but then he returned it on the lawn

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A: If you were stranded on an island and you could only have one thin, what would it be? B: A boat A: That makes sense

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What do you call a black man with an afro? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Rose are red Violets are blue And I really hate you Friends?????

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "i have aids."

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A chicken crosses the road as a car comes by. The driver pumps the brakes and stops the car just before hitting the chicken. The chicken crosses the road safely. Onward, my noble steed !

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why did 9/11 poop on a condominium? fuk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops