Top Gear USA

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Doctor Doctor! I think i'm epileptic! I'm not the Doctor, I'm the receptionist. You're a hypochondriac, now wait in the Que, like everybody else Mrs. Davis.

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What did the janitor have for breakfast? Food

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what did one cupcake say to the other cupcake? nothing because they were both cupcakes.

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One time i was in north philly and bought milk, then i came home and drank it.

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why did the women cross the road? she didnt, theres no road in the kitchen.

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Priest: "Matt, will you take Senae to be your wife, your partner in life and your one true love? Will you cherish her friendship and love her today, tomorrow and forever? Will you trust and honor her, laugh with her and cry with her? Will you be faithful through good times and bad, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?" Matt: No

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whats worse than being raped by a random stranger getting raped by your uncle

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Why did the hockey cross the road? To get to KFC.

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Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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A man walks in to a bar, so he got hurt.

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If a man is alone in the woods and there is no one there to tell he's wrong is he right? If a tree falls on a women.... Before we tell the rest why was there a tree I the kitchen?

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Why is Taylor sad? Because she's the middle of a human centipede.

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Hello, this is Chuck Norris speaking.

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On a deserted island in the middle of nowhere three women have just been in a horrible boat wreck. They are okay and alive. One is a lovely smart brunette. An appealing ginger. And a blond.. named Becky. They take shelter when one of them notices a shimmer in the sand. They pick it up to discover that it was a golden lamp. They rub it and a blue cloud of smoke consumes them. Then a magnificent Guinnie appears and says "You have awoken me from my 10,000 year encasement inside that lamp! I shall grant you 3 wishes to show you my sincere gratitude." The brunette wishes for a plane so she can fly home. The ginger wishes for a boat to sail back home. The blonde was lonely so she wished that the brunette and the ginger were back with her.

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Whats black and cant read white paper? An African

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Wanna know how to confuse a black guy? Give him a friend chicken sandwich with mayo on it.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have AIDS, now so do you.

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Nice story but I wish it would have had a good point like... A moral? Moral: Need a light?

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Whats black and crying after 10 minute my wife's eyes when she left the kitchen

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? The baby is not a car.

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Why didn't the gangster cross the road? Because he J-walked and was hit by a car.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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