A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven. Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" "No," the man replies, "I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I told my wife she was like a fine wine She asked if it was because she improves with age. I told her yes All was well.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two gorillas walked into a bar and it hurt

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is yellow and corny? Corn.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Chrismas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a room with a white man a black man and a hot pocket? A reasonable meal

thumb_up thumb_down -5

hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two pretzels were walking down the street. One was assaulted. The other, witnessing what he'd seen, developed a harsh stereotype.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the banana explode? Because it was a grenade!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What would happend if two nyan cats crashed into each other? It would be a great impact and we'd all be sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Ask this to your friend. "Yo man, I really need your help on this question. Can you tell me color comes after 9?" guaranteed "wtf"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the cow eat a computer? Why? Who knows

thumb_up thumb_down -5

So a 12 year old suicide bomber walks in to a military base and kills 31 soldiers. It happened. Look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

columbus laid an egg. he was very proud of it, but the other dudes ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was patrick sad? he was raped then murdered then super raped

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A Mexican walked into a bar. He never came back out.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's dried up and smells like potatoes? Potato ships and school french fries.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What's wrong with being gay A: Nothing is wrong with anybody because we're all human

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did danielle drop her ice cream cone? Because she was diabetic and had a blood sugar of 5.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock Who's there? Interupting cow Interu--- MOOOOOO!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What weights more than a 300 pound man? A 400 pound man.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops