Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

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i like cats

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

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Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

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Women's Rights.

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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What's brown and sticky? a stick

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Q: Why were the two elephants kicked off the beach? A: They were both level 4 sex offenders.

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Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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