I have Alzheimer's, i pee out gold, racoons

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ... THE DOOR!!

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OHIO DRIVERS.......THAT IS ALL......

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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A gay man walks into a biker bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you want ice with that?"

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas?

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What happened when the man was about to hug the sexiest person he ever saw in his life? He hit the mirror.

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it could without dying.

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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Skinny guy: Hey wanna hear a yo mama joke? Fat mother: Hey you wanna die?

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Your mama is so fat that when she farted she called it global warming

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Why was the presidential candidate sad? He mother was raped on her way to hear his speech and his brother hung himself in his apartment two days earlier.

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Chuck Norris does not get sick; He only gets sick when his immune system is weak.

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When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

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Roses are Red Violets are Black Why is your chest As flat as your back

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Why does the gay person where a leather motorcycle suit? Because he drives motorcycles.

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why was it funny that the boy got hairspray for christmas because he had leukemia

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Why did the fat man fall off the balcony? He didn't, I pushed him.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

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How many Asians did it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1 Asians are just like every one else

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What's dried up and smells like potatoes? Potato ships and school french fries.

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Why did the beaver cross the road? To meet Justin Bieber!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops