you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

Yes.

What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? George. George Who? George Smith.

Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

Advice from a pro: Don't be a faggot

What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

It's not just me bomber, Kane Aodhan and kevin are all posting stuff too so SBB!!!

What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

You wanna hear a real joke? Well, look at the post below this one.

What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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