Q: Why were the two elephants kicked off the beach? A: They were both level 4 sex offenders.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

thumb_up thumb_down -52

How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Q: Why did Temia go to sleep? A: Cause swaq and she was so skuxx!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Yo mama so fat she sells shade. Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for wii fit. Yo mama so fat she in call of duty when a player kills her they get a 5 person kill streak. Yo mama so fat that she is fat. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q:Why did Billy drop his ice cream? A:He was hit by a truck. Q:Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was hit by Billy. Q:Why did the clown's friend fall off the swing? A:He had no arms. Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? A:To get to Billy's ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's red and round? A red and round solid.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

thumb_up thumb_down +170

On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

call of duty world at war

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops