How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

So a frog and a penguin were talking and the frog says, " I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is we're freezing, but the good news is: We have a conoe!".

What's brown and sticky? a stick

A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

I'm hungry.

Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

Women's Rights.

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

Q: Why were the two elephants kicked off the beach? A: They were both level 4 sex offenders.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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