(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

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What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

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What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

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What would you call the fatty cranial mass surrounding a malignant tumor? Ted Kennedy's Head.

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This is not an anti joke.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

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How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

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If you're having Kony problems, I feel bad for you son. He's stolen 99 kids and your posters saved none.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What do you call a horse with no legs? Useless.

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What did the japanese man say to the other Japanese man? I like your eyes.

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Q: "How does a monkey hide in a jungle?", A:"Paint its balls red and sit in a cherry tree" , Q:"What is the loudest noise in the jungle?", A: "A native picking cherries"

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Kill it

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A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He got hurt.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the chicken say to the dog? Well, since chickens can't talk, they both stood there in an awkward silence.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Black people don't exist.

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whats the difference between a black guy and and an asian person... who cares kill them both

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a WAFFLE!

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happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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I was watching this one episode of mighty morphin' power rangers ......and i realized i got trapped in the 90's.... THANK YOU BOOTLEG TIME MACHINE FROM .....EBAY......it's always ebay.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops