what happens when you and a 6 foot black guy get stuck on an island? hang him by a tree and make shelter

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What is similar between a penguin and a newspaper? If you kill a penguin, then grind it up into a fine powder, then the penguin becomes a newspaper.

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How did the chicken cross the road. He didn't he was ran over by a bus.

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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How old is Batman? Old enough to be a bat.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? we will never know he never opened it

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Alex watched his grandfather tear up as he told him the terrors of the Holocaust. Apparently killing Jews is hard on people.

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Why did the loser end up in hospital? Because he was smoking glue.

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Why did Silly Billy throw a clock out the window? Because he has a serious anger problem.

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i hate christians and muslims, until drugs are involved. iduno what dat is, i try it.

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Q: what do you call a man that see's a unicorn A: hallucinating

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...IIITS... :) SMILEY :( AND MADDY THE HORSEHEAD SHOW ITS :) SMILEY :( AND MADDY THE HORSEHEAD SHOW! :) YAY! :(SHADDAP YUUU! Episode one... The waiting for the wait!

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What did the mormon say when he complemented the gay person? Nothing, because mormons hate gays.

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What did the black guy do to his neighbor's car while he was away? Wash it for a for as a favor.

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What do you call a bunny with a knife in his chest? Emo

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What's the same about a crouton and a pencil case? Both are used for dirty things, such as shoe tying.

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Yo mamma is so weird most people try to avoid her.

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red OH SH*T MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!!!!!

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Why Russians ride bears? Because god hate bears

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses only the finest ingredients.

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what did the mexican cop say to the mexican drug dealer? can i get some of that

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Roses are red violets are blue. Yes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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