A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down

Who took the last can of soda? I dunno.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they're dead, they cant screw in a light bulb. Even if they were alive, it would be highly improbable that a baby could screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the wife leave her husband? Because they were having sexual differences and time restraints. The husband worked nightshifts as a nurse while the woman stayed home and took care of their child. The husband confessed he never wanted a child in the first place, and that having sexual intercourse with her didn't truly satisfy him.

thumb_up thumb_down

Adam ci ?mierdz?cy kutas mi sie ya mam

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down

This is not a joke or is it

thumb_up thumb_down

What makes you hate life and feel good at the same time? A rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between Hitler and Stalin? Nothing because pineapples aren't vegetables.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did Kelsey fall off the swing? because she has no arms Knock Knock who's there? not Kelsey

thumb_up thumb_down -2

troll----> hahaha---->

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your mom is so fat she should probably go to her doctor and ask for a prescription of diabetic pills

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did Washington say to his men before they got into the boat? Men, get in the boat!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears Because he's a rabbit

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your Grandma and your mom drove off a cliff, who survived? Both of them, they didn't drive off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa is a fictional character used to represent Christmas, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I saw a guy walking down the street like a black person. I just shook my head and smiled. He WAS black.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what is similar between a mexican and a bench? they are both illeageal. except the bench

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because Osama Bin Laden is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than dropping an ice cream cone? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Dropping two ice cream cones.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats the difference between Steven Hawkin and Gary Glitter? Ones severely disabled and ones a paedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops