Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

How can you tell the person who stole your car was black? Stereotyping is wrong.

What's worse than Jedward? Nothing. They are really and truly awful.

How did the prisoner escape from prison? He asked to leave.

uh uh uh uh .... oh i swallowed my gum

Roses are Red Violets are Blue The end is near I want a beer

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

When the tsunami hit in 2004, christians worldwide prayed for the victims. it didnt help

Tiger Woods isn't a Tiger, He's a lion cheeta.

what is a bracket? a bracket

Q: what is green, red, white, on fire, in space A: i dont know you tell me

What did the kind hearted wolf do when he saw the small, helpless, fluffy bunny? He ate it.

One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answered him in a such a simple and concise way, that the little boy understood.

A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

Blarg, with ritalin everything tastes like cardboard, but on the bright side I can taste, lucky me I am so handsome the ones that attacked us did not want to ruin "my pretty face", so I just got a few cuts before I broke his, they never see a steel fist arriving you know... Listen, you are wrong, you gotta think less about me, and much more about yourself, you feel like you should worry more about me emotionally, but worry about your feelings more despite that because I can more or less hear your body saying "please take care of me", I mean I can more or less hear the urges and needs of women, thats why I am so good around them, I dont put them in a trance "vampire style" i just make them feel safe around me because it is safe around me, I am safe at all times because I am who I am. Listen, worry about your needs, turn of all mental alarms, I can sense (I dont know how, Richard Bandler put that into me) that you are in lack of sleep, food and sleep (I can sense it now, you havent slept well since you thought I was dead, it makes logical sense, it always does, its not magic, its the human potential unleashed) So take care of yourself, turn of your body`s needs one by one, shower, eat, drink (eat something good), and if you are at the couch, go get a pillow and lie down, this is about you, because I cant feel well if those I love and care about dont feel well okay? Please allow me to sleep easily and try getting some sleep yourself even if my guys are 15 minutes away. Let me know that you feel better.

What's better than winning the paraplegic Olympics? Walking.

My sister had a lemonade stand once. And one time, she spilled.

What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? Well, I couldn't understand them... It's hard to pronounce anything clearly when your mouth is full, which is why you don't eat and speak simultaneously.

yo moma is so poor she cant afford free samples

Why couldn't the child with down syndrome zip up their jacket.... it was a button jacket ... you asshole

Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Jews

Why did the man stop chewing gum? I threw a grenade at him.

What do you call a person with a big ass head? A person with a big ass head

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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