- Anti Joke

what's worse that reading something that just wasted seconds of your life? reading this and wasting more seconds.

whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

1.....2.....3.....boom you died

Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

How many dead babies can you fit in a mini? It is variable according to the size of each baby.

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

I don't know about anybody else, but I just watched a part of a My Little Pony episode, and there's something about them that makes you want to come back and watch more. It's wierd, like mind control. Has anyone noticed this?

roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Why did the black man buy watermellon? Because he was having a barbecue in his suburban neighborhood and he wanted some fruit.

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

What black and white and red all over? A panther I was lying about the red and white.

Your at your local street corner and find a woman, the fact that she has balls dose not stop you from inviting her into your car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

knock knock, Whos there ?? Johnny. Come in fish.

how do you get a rat out the house you lift it up and put it outside

Why is Michael Jackson bad at checkers? Cause he's dead.

whats long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine

What's green , has 4 legs and if it fell out of tree on you , would hurt you ? A Pool table

What ended my last relationship? Oncoming traffic.

A African americia and a Hispanic are in a car, who's driving? The police man

What do you call a guy who answers your door Whatever his name his

What did the Black construction worker say to the Asian salesman? I want some milk.

What did the chickens say to the other chicken Go away mother clucker