Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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Is your plant made out of Osmium, Molybdenum, Silicon and Sulfur? Because it's going through OsMoSiS. That was just a joke, not a pick up line. Unless I was giving a pick-up line to your plant, which I definitely wasn't...

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Q.what do you call 7x7 A.A math equation

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, no they're not. They're VIOLET. That's why they're called that. If they were blue, they would be called "Blues", or something of a similar nature. Don't be dumb.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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Q:Where was The Declaration of Independence signed? A: At the bottom

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Getting up, the 2nd hardest thing in the morning.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Your Best friend. Did you forget what I looked like?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball. Super Monkey Ball who? No wonder it's super.

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A man goes to a doctor and says , "My arm hurts in 3 places." the doctor says, "Dont go to those places.

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roses are red violets are blue i am muslim

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A russian gives away vodka.

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*knock knock* Who's there? *Gorilla* Gorilla who? *Gorillas don't hoot, owls hoot*

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Black guys shoot. White guys have small penises. Black guys steal. White guys have keep money. Black guys are broke. That's what she said.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Justin's hair

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What the difference between Adolf Hitler and Michael Phelps? Micheal Phelps can finish a race.

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What happens when 2 gay men rub their penises together Jello

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why do you care?

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Knock knock ... *No ones home*

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lewis ya baggy fuck

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies? You can't buy a bakers dozen of dead babies at Tim Hortons.

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Q:Wats worse then cutting ur lawn A: diarea on a sunday morning

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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