Whats black, white, and red all over? A severely beaten and bruised man who was found un conscience and robbed in a dark parking lot behind Dennys at 2 o'clock in the morning.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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Why did the black man say "I been done did that?" He was speaking ebonics.

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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whats brown and smells like poop? poop.

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What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

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fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

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What did the psycho killer order for dessert? Ice Cream.

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Q: Why didn't the mexican get into the bathtub? A: He was already clean

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Q: How do you make a clown stop laughing? A: Hit it in the face with an axe

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I am reading the Terms of Service, however I don't fully agree with it's contents.

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A boy tells his teacher, "I want to be like hitler when I grow up and kill all the jews and one clown." The teacher replies, "Why the clown?" The boy says, "See no one cares about the jews."

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65% of people are starving 32% are over 190 lbs. Think about it

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

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how do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face

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Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

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What did the autistic child say to the doctor? Nothing. His condition is so severe that he is mute and may never talk for the rest of his life.

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What's black and flies? Whatever it is, it's not a car.

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A priest was driving a motorcycle and was doing these amazing crazy stunts. It turns out they were actually filming a movie.

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What happens when you shoot a giraffe? It dies.

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Q:What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A:I like your shoelaces!

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What's red and smells like blood? Blood.

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The hooker walks into a bar wearing a vest and tight denim shorts. A drunken man proceeds in trying to have his way with her. He is thrown out for sexual mis-conduct and is currently waiting for his court date.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he'd would like to make a wager. The bartender replies, "no."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops