Simon says; "You're adopted."

thumb_up thumb_down +38

When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

banana

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what would be worse then 9/11 and the holocaust? -if the twin towers fell on a concentration camp

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

thumb_up thumb_down +35

whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

roses are red violets are blue i suck at poetry show me your tits

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Har har hey

thumb_up thumb_down -1

My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

thumb_up thumb_down -53

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

thumb_up thumb_down +190

What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

thumb_up thumb_down +52

When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops