Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Not sure, its just a really rare combination, people tell me stuff like "oh they are really bright brown" like hell they are, I mean sorry but the hell they are. I prefer it the way you say it, they are red, really really red, and you do not say it as if I had something to be ashamed off.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock knock. Racism.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock knock Who's there? Boo Boo who? It's just a joke you don't have to cry about it

thumb_up thumb_down +26

89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Hi, how are you doing? Good how about yourself? Fine, thanks. Nice weather we're having Yeah, not too bad Have a nice day You too

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Butt poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

vaginas are pretty!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the road? like most animals that wander onto the road, it was completely unaware that the road can be very dangerous. It didn't go onto the road on purpose, it simply treated the road as if it was just like the rest of the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Jim: "Hey guess what" Bill: "What" Jim: "George Bush got reelected" *Bill proceeds to throw himself into the Atlantic Ocean.*

thumb_up thumb_down +26

knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Moo! I'm a goat!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A blond, brunette, and red head jump off a building. Who hit the ground last? The red head because she was last to jump.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How did the blonde get blood on her Ipad? A terrible paper cut.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the little girl fall out of the tree? She didnt have any arms

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a 400 pound man eating chocolate? diabetic

thumb_up thumb_down +24

violets are red my name is bob this poem makes no sense microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Spinabifita

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the vegitarian order for dinner? Vegatables

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops