Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

Whats the Twin Towers least favourite movie? Here Comes the Boom.

What do you call a pair of banana peels? Trash.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

Q:What do you call Black Jesus ? A:Black Jesus a.w. j.p.

Why was Mrs. Clause mad at Santa Clause? Because he was hanging out with three hoes, Ho, Ho, and Ho

knock knock Labrinth come in

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

Why was the mom crying? Her son was found in the oven.

How do you turn a broken skateboard into a gleaming Rolls Royce? With magic.

What do you a call a person who can't fly. A person.

Did u hear bout the guy who went to the donut shop yeah he has brown hair

Why was the white man rich and the black man poor? Because when the white man was 11 and he didn't have a job because 11 year olds don't get hired, because its not legal, he use to pick up pennies. And when the black man was 11 he got a job mowing lawns and ended up being a lawyer graduate and spent the rest of his life paying off his school loan. The white man lived in the 70's and the black man lived in he twentieth century.

Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

So a bunch of blondes are in a group and a murder comes by and sais, "if you want to live, answer a question right." so the blondes pick there smartest on. the first question is, what is 9+4... the blonde answers five, the crowd goes "give her another chance giver her another chance, same thing happens, she gets it wrong and the crowd goes "give her another chance, give her another chance." the murderer sais "ok fine this is your final guess, what is 2+2" the blonde goes "uuhhhhhh... 4?" And the whole crowd goes "give her another chance give her another chance

How do you get a jew out of an empty pool? Give him a lader

Like a bit of a cozy fight or something.

Knock Knock! Well come on in!

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Why did the chicken protest? He wanted to be able to cross the street without getting his motives questioned.

What do you call a beagle and an eagle mixed together? A beagle.

What's the difference between a Watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.

Why was the Africanan boy hungry? Because food is hard to come by in Africa.

Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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