I saw a "Baby on Board" bumper sticker on a car TARGET AQUIRED

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q.What do you call a beaver with a unibrow. A. A beaver........it's still a beaver

thumb_up thumb_down -1

SCENE: A prirate walks into a bar with the wheel of the ship attached to his pants. BARTENDER: Doesn't that hurt? PIRATE: Aye! It drives me nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the boy and girl go under the covers together? because they were cold

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Hey. I have to ask you a serious question. Okay. what? You can only answer with yes or no. Okay what is it? Do your parents know your gay? .....

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why is Michael J. Fox unable to build domino chains? He only has one domino.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats worst then finding drugs under you brothers bed finding your dead cat under his bed whats worst then finding your dead cat under your brothers bed finding your dead Gran whats even worst then that the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What can fly for only a short period? A jumper.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Mark Twain, Jesus, and Bill Gates are sitting at a bar. Someone messed with the space time continuum again.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do you give a little girl with no legs and no arms for christmas...................cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None

thumb_up thumb_down -3

whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If the best things in life are free, whats the hardest things in life? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why would you call a child douche bag? Cause they're sterile

thumb_up thumb_down -3

You're so fat, that a picture of you fell off the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Where do you find a dog? At a pet store.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I was looking out the window on a Sunday morning. The coffee was fresh, and the air was moist. I had recieved a phone call last night on the contents of a briefcase that was to be left on my front door today. The explination was vague, and I was told to enjoy my last day. Then I died.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do a gas and a liquid have in common? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops