roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers who are you?

In Soviet Russia, the political system was very different than it is today.

.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

i lost the game

What can fly for only a short period? A jumper.

*Knock knock! "Who's there?" "Jehovah's witness" .....

The joke below this comment is stupid. Lets go Mets

meh

How does a pirate get to work? His CAAAARRRR! Where does the pirate go after work? The BAAAARRRR! How does the pirate get home from the bar? A taxi. A pirate doesn't drive after consuming alcohol.

Whats worse than finding a giant spider in your bedroom? Loosing it...

How did the baby cross the road? .......... It was stapled to the chicken.

what can you give to a millionaire to make him happy? sex

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

What can move people but not rocks.. Poop

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a bed? A: The victim of a serious car accident in a hospital bed.

A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit stumbles into a genie while coming to a clearing. The Genie says, "I will give you both three wishes." The bear thinks quickly and says, "I wish every bear in the forest was female." The Genie then grants the wish. "And...now I wish that each bear in the country was female!" The Genie grants the wish. "AND I WISH THAT EVERY BEAR IN THE WORLD WAS FEMALE!!!" the bear exclaims, now getting overly excited by his wishes. The Genie grants the last wish and then turns to the rabbit. "Your turn." The rabbit wishes for a pair of running shoes and the well being of his family and friends. For his last wish he points at the bear and says, "I wish he was gay."

John has 32 candy bars, he eats 28..what does he have now? Diabetes.

what is long hard and full of seamen......... A sumbirine..........................(what were you thinking)

"Is this the Krusty Krab?" "Yes. What would you like to order?"

What did the little boy get for Christmas? A pair of broken sunglasses, because his parents didn't care about him, and because he lived in Hawaii where it is very hot in December. Plus the kid's blind. By Nikhil Sridhar of Taikoo Shing, Hong Kong.

I was looking out the window on a Sunday morning. The coffee was fresh, and the air was moist. I had recieved a phone call last night on the contents of a briefcase that was to be left on my front door today. The explination was vague, and I was told to enjoy my last day. Then I died.

What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

How do you kill a retard? you shoot him in the head

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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MOAR??

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