Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The POLICE, now open the god damn door!

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Two people are walking down the street, unaware of the highly polluted environment and that they could save a life.

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dick in your mouth just kidding haaaaaa

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Dear Sarah, My name is Jesse, and I am severely overweight. BOUNCE ON MY DICK LIKE TYGA BITCH, Your lover, Jesse.

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A drunken man grabbed a gun and shot his entire family to death. Luckily, a even drunker man had shot them moments before, so it really only served to ruin the perfectly good wall behind them with bullet holes.

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What did Winnie the Pooh say to Eeyore? Nothing, he just suffocated him in a pot of honey.

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An Asian man and an Irish man are standing at the bus stop, chatting casually, while waiting for the bus to arrive. The Irish man then turns to the Asian and says, "Despite our blatant differences in both race and culture, perhaps someday when we are both available, we can meet and talk civilly about our everyday lives over a cup of coffee."

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What would Jesus do? Do? You mean like do it? You have a dirty mind.

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How do you stop a cat from urinating on your floor? Shoot it.

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i lost the game

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There are only three kinds of math teachers: teachers that can count and teachers that can't count

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Whatd the boner say to the limp dick get your head up kid

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Why was the black man smoking marijuana with his friends? He was at a glaucoma support group meeting.

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whats more annoying than being raped by a giant scorpian? finding out that half the anti-jokes are terrible

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If someone tells you to look behind you do you? No

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Q: What's the difference between black and white? A: A lot...

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Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

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What did the man say to the woman? get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours Nacho Cheese actually it depends on the type of cheese that you stole due to your kleptomania

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well that, my friend, is a good question.

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PLEASE LIKE TO DONATE 50 CENTS TO MY CHARIDY .... SAVE THE PENGUINS IN AFRICA -BY LUKE BRANIFF

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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