A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? Because he didn't feel like walking around the house to the side where the gate was to get out of the backyard

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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Knock Knock. -Who's there ? It's me. -Come in.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels in your presence? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

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Think of a number between 2 and 10? 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 11745028410270193852110555964462294895493038

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How do you upset an Mexican? Kill his entire family.

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What do you call white people that live in a trailer park? Residents.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I am.

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What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town? Look, here comes Tarzan! What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town with sunglasses on? Nothing. They don't recognize him.

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Why was the man waiting at the bus stop? He was on his way to work

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Get off my porch.

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once you go black you prefer not to date any white people

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Why did the women cross the road? I dont know.. why? no clue.. why was she out of the kitchen

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why did the chicken cross the road? Does it matter why, it just did.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had been used as an ingredient in kung pow chicken and was on it's way via delivery boy to the house that had ordered it for a lovely evening meal

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After the haitian revolution, Haiti lived happily ever after, Until god smited them with a devastating natural disaster

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whats worse than vegetables? Fisting Grandmas

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Whats cooler than cool? Ice Cold.

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Knock knock. Who’s there? Your son. Your son who? DAD WHY CAN’T YOU ACCEPT THE FACT THAT I AM GAY!

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There are 3 types of people in this world, those who can count to potato and those who can't.

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What did the explorer say to the new species Oh look it says squirtle let's call it squirtle Oh look it say woof let's call it poochyena

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What is blue and not heavy? Light blue!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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