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Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

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A man walks into a bar. Wait, no, it was a horse. A man walks into a horse

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What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

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Q: What do you call three black people in a car? A: Maltesers

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What was the leg less and armless mans favorite type of music? Nubstep

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What did one cancer patient say to the other? Nothing, both of them were dead.

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What time is it when it is time to get a watch? About 4:30, unless its a monday.

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If three men were rowing a rowboat backwards across your front lawn, and six of the four back wheels fell off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? 17 because footballs don't have feathers.

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you: your adopted me: i was so thanks for saying you ass

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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If you die, and have 5 cents in your pocket, does the toast still land jelly side down?

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what did the alcholic get his children for christman, nothing i lied about the children. Another joke by rangler thumbs up for more.

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the little boy? May God be with you.

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What did the badger say to the mushroom? BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER MUSHROOM MUSHROOM! BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER ARGH SNAKE! IT'S A SNAKE...

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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what do you call a man with no @ss? d1ckhead

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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What did the indian man say to the black man? "Hi."

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Why did the man buy Trojan for his women? It's condom curtsey.

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A guy walks into a bar Many people gather around him to see if he is alright and to tell him he needs to watch where he is going.

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Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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