Before Super Mario existed what did people play? Instruments.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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A rapist is asked to teach a kindergarden class. The kids learn many things and have a great day.

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What would an ice hockey player do if the ice melted? Walk off, as the ice is only 3/4 of an inch thick.

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i hate christians and muslims, until drugs are involved. iduno what dat is, i try it.

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What did the bowl of cereal say? Can I have some milk?

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What is the difference between a black guy and a bucket of shit? The black guy is a sentient human being, and the bucket of shit is just a metal container filled with feces

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What do you call a black doctor? A doctor you racist

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A man knocks on a wooden door. A woman says who is it?

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whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was pursuing his dream of becoming the world's best circus clown, which six developed a fear of in a tragic circus accident which occured in his childhood. Therefore, six was afraid of seven.

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amy baked 35 sugar cookies and ate 25, what does she have now? diabetes.

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Bob: Hey Jim, what's up? Jim: Obviously the sky, oh and i see a few planes too. by the way why are you asking me why don't you just look up?

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A retarded man speaks jibberish, because he is retarded

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What's worse then breaking your xbox? Going on a 24 kill streak and having itchy balls.

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I once heard what I consider the best joke ever: But I am not telling it to you, because this is a the anti-joke section. Moral: You better find the secret "real jokes section" because its there, yeeeeeess yeeeeeeeeees of coursehahahahaha!

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A bear walked into a bar and said to the bartender," I'd li.........................ke one beer please. " The bartender replied, " Sure. But why the big pause? "

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Knock knock Who's this? Your neighbor Yes can I help you? Hi, I'm new around here, can you help me find the closest gas station? Turn right over there pass 2 traffic lights it will be on your left Okay, thank you You're welcome

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How can you tell an Irishman from a frenchman? Well, if you look back at both there heritages...

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what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

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What starts with F and ends in U C K? firetruck What starts with P and ends in O R N? popcorn What only costs 5 cents on weekends? your mom

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what the **** is wrong with kieran scotts forhead!

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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