A man with his masters degree, has a great job, and gets good money. Has a wife and kids. He is very successful.

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Bob dole

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What's black and white and red all over? A chess board; I lied about the "red all over" part.

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Why weren't there any black people at the book sale? Black people don't read.

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how many cookies did the fat kid eat? a perfectly reasonable amount of cookies.

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

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knock knock, whos there? your neighbor's cat..no not really, but your sister just got raped

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Whats black and cant read white paper? An African

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Why did Jimmy throw butter out the window? Because he had down syndrome

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How many people of a certain demographic does it take to change a light bulb? x+1 (x >0), 1 person to change the lightbulb and x to behave in a manner consistent with the established stereotype of said demographic.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

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Q: why was the girl so dumb A: her teacher was a blond

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What can make you pee? Liquid

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what did the horse say to the bartender? why the short face?

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I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

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What black and has children A black man

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How do you get your girlfriend's yapping Chihuahua to be quiet? Throw it through a window.

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1Q: Quick! Ask me if I'm a lemon!! 2A: Your not a lemon 1A: :/ oh :/

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what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

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how do you start a stamped in mexico roll a nickle down the street sad thing is you just lost a nickle

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the grass is always greener on the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops