Your Mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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Q: What do you call the first black guy who swam in the ocean? A: Triangle.

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What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

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Q: Why did the black guy cross the road? A: Hell, I don't know. He probably stole something.

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Which came first, the chicken , the egg, the chick, the dinosaur, or the fried chicken nuggets?

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The queen is killed on sunday there are three suspects the cheif the princess and the butler The princess' said she was getting lunch The cheif said he was making lunch The butler said je was getting the mail So who did it A: the butler they dont diliever mail on sunday

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Knock Knock Whose there? Me! Hi

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I want to stick ma dick in a big bowl o puddin'

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Want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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What happened when the zombie walked into the blonde lady convention? He went home hungry.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? People trying to be funny writing the same jokes over and over.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What happens when a jew with a boner runs into a wall? He hurts his face.

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Why did the black man die of leukemia? Overexposure to radioactive materials due to his career as a nuclear engineer.

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Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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Whats worst then finding drugs under you brothers bed finding your dead cat under his bed whats worst then finding your dead cat under your brothers bed finding your dead Gran whats even worst then that the Holocaust

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SUBway eat fresh ZOMbies eat fleash

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Pigs have the emotional capacity of a five year old think about that next time you have to dissect one in biology

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Goldilocks walks into a bar. But its not really a bar, it's a bear cave and she is eaten by porridge eating bears.

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Women's rights

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A man walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar, and he fractures his skull on it. He died in the hospital a few hours later

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A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

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What's the difference between a bird and a pool table? Both of them fly, except for the pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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