whats long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine

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How do you make a kid with ADHD stay still? Shoot him in the knee cap

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Q: Ask me how far have you gone with a girl? A: Mexico

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roses are red violets are blue im a paki and you are a jew!

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what's brown and sticky? a stick.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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When someone throws a rock at you What do you say? A:Oww

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Show me the money! Said the man last wednesday.

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What did the munchy alzhemiers farmer say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators?

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A plane is going to land at 3:30, if the monkey is holding a gun how does the bus driver commite suicide 12, because the laywer attacked the dyslexic man.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

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Ever heard of the dumb blonde joke? You probably wouldn't get it.

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Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

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YOU AINT GOT NO PANCAKE MIX the preacher then bitchslaps the black man

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Bean.

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When im invisible you cant see me, i know

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A. Do you know the best part about Anti Jokes? B. No

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whats purple and has legs? Nothing, i lied about both

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Hitler arrives at his neighbor's barmitzfah... fashionably late.

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Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the other side.

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what do you call a 19th century steam train driver ? i dont know , depends what his mother named him

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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