What do you call a black man walking towards you with a gun? A defibrillator.

Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black and so is my neighbor

roses are red FACT violets are blue FACT this ryhm is boring how about you FACT

Q: Why is the Universe so big? A: Because it is the same size as my penis.

What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

What do you call a boy with no arms? Names.

Knock knock! Who's there? The police, your entire family has died in a terrible car accident.

Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

how do you scare a mexican? You dress up as a bar of soap.

What's brown and sticky? The faeces of a glue stick.

What do you call an 8 year-old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

Yo momma's so fat, she's broke 'cause she spent too much money on food.

Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

what is blue and fluffy, a blue fluff. what is red and fluffy, a polar bear wiped in red paint. you probably should not have done that because now the polar bear is chasing after you.

How do you make an electrician cry? You cut off his friend's penis.

Why did the man talk to the potato? Because hes stupid.

If you are floating down main street in a canoe and your front right propeller falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones

Knock Knock Who's There? Bill Bill Who? Builder

What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

Romans rights.

Today i started to think lucas was homosexuaI.. I am scared

What did the Black construction worker say to the Asian salesman? I want some milk.

What do you call a guy who answers your door Whatever his name his

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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