Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

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Whats worst than getting raped by an old man? -Nothing, getting raped is probably the worst thing to happen to you.

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doctor doctor i have been having a sore head recently . doctor : have you hurt your head yes

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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A man walks into a bar. The man says,"ouch, how could I have not seen the bar."

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a black guy with a parrot on his shoulder was walking down the street. another man asked, "where did you get him?" The parrot said, "theres tons of them in africa."

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

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Do you know what a third world bathroom smells like? Crap

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Is the boy sleeping? No, he's dead!

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On monday morning the doctor walked into a patient's room, then he walked out after a quick check up.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she no arms

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You're momma's so fat..Oh wait she's not.

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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Why did the child get cancer? Because there was a family history of it.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll order The Special, what's wrong with you?

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How do you make a plumber sad? Steal his plums.

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WHat did Helen Keller get for Christmas? an ipod

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Yo mamas so tan she might get skin cancer

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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-What do you call it when a female and male are together? - A very serious relationship.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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