What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen

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what the difference between a kettle with a fever and a wooden mallet? I don't remember how the joke ends but your mothers a whore

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whats worse than dying alone? dying with a boner.

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What do you call a mexican driving a plane? Well.. nothing because you can't drive plane's but if a Mexican man was able to FLY a plane, he would be a pilot.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What did the man say to the drug dealer? I'd like some drugs

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Q- Who is the life of the party? A- hannah schane

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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Two women are sitting next to each other in a bar minding their own business.

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Why was Adam sad? His wife found him cheating with several women which led to a lengthy and messy divorce and him losing custody of his two children and his house.

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roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? Dr. Jeremy Brown, I have your results from the blood test. It's good news they came back negative. Hooray.

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Q: What's the difference between lucky charms and a baby? A: One is magically delicious and the other is a breakfast serial.

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Roses are red Violets are blue get down or i will shoot

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Gingers.

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Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

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What do you call a blue baby at the bottom of a pool? Dead.

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man running the stand "Quack"! because he's a duck... and that's what ducks do.

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Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

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Why was the boy dad? Because he was taken advantage of by an older woman during ovulation and impregnated her.

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Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was wandering because he was lost and got hit by a car in the process.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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