Your mom is so ugly that she was mercilessly bullied throughout high school which led to severe depression and low self-esteem, however she went to college, got a career, found a man who loved her for who she is, not how she looks, and raised a family happily ever after.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

thumb_up thumb_down +44

There's two bears in the shower. One bear says "pass the soap". The other bear says "no soap. Radio".

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Knock Knock. -Who's there ? It's me. -Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels in your presence? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Sucks to be a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the boy get hit by the bus? He didn't check both sides before crossing

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How many Jews can you fit in a car? I don't know it really depends on the car, usually about 2 in the front, 3 in the back and... That's about it

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did Santa Clause say to Rudolf? Nothing. Santa's not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

There are 3 poeple on an air plane. The pope, a boy scout, and barak obama. The plane is about to crash and there is only 2 parachutes. omba said im the president of the united states and one of the worlds smartest african americans so he jumped out. The Pope told the boy scout " i lived a long happy life you take the last parachute and jump." The boy scout replied what there are still 2 left the " worlds smartest negro jumped out with my backpack.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Have you seen the painting by Stevie Wonder? It's a Monet and this museum's most prized piece. Just kindly ask Mr. Wonder to step aside a bit.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

YOU

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call white people that live in a trailer park? Residents.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Your momma's so fat she died five years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

This sentence is false.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

whats worse than vegetables? Fisting Grandmas

thumb_up thumb_down +32

An Irish man walks into his home and orders a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a black guy who kills people? A murderer.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops