Q) How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colorblind

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A man walks into a bar. It turns out he's an alcoholic, and he goes home and beats his wife.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana Your parents must have little regard for your social identity because they named you after a tropical fruit. Either that or you are clinically insane. I am concerned; please leave.

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Why did the spoon say hi to the fork? To initiate a conversation.

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Roses are multicoloured Violets are multicoloured Mushrooms are great

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I had a friend named Joshua, he died of AIDs, cancer, and several other diseases.

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You wanna hear something dirty? A pile of garbage. That's dirty.

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What's black & sits at the top of the staircase? A quadriplegic after a house fire.

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you: your adopted me: i was so thanks for saying you ass

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Why don't you throw a rock at a Mexican on a bike? Because depending on the size of the rock, you could seriously injure him.

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why was the the taxi cab driver having a bad day? because he wasnt making very much money, didnt get alot of customers, some of which were extremely rude, and his entire family just died.

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what's worse than finding mommy kissing santa clause ? slave trading

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a tumor Doctors give it 6 weeks before I die...

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why couldnt the kid get off the couch when his mom asked him to? he was paralyzed

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Why did the black person got to Wal-mart? Wal-mart has relatively low prices

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

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A: Knock Knock B: ...

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Nature is filled with wondrous things. No really, this isn't a joke.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? Cause he couldn't afford to pay the gas bill.

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Im good at other things... ...like giving handshakes

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Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

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What a person such as you would say. Anyway, did you notice how I started by emulating your way of typing, spelling, spacing and so on?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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