You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

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Dont look at me.

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What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

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What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

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What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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How many Mexicans can you fit into a car? The bathroom is on the left, mam.

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In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

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Q: Whats worse than the death of flappy bird? A: The holocaust.

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What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

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Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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A man walks into a bar.... no wait! It's a horse! A man walks into a horse...

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Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

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2 polar bears are standing on a chunk of ice that is floating in the Arctic Sea. One turns to the other and says, 'Dyu know; I keep thinking it's Thursday...'

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Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

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what sucks? things that suck

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

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A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

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My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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