Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what is brown and shaped like a tree?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

thumb_up thumb_down -26

one day a grape was in the sun raisin

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +43

So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's worse than being a Packer Fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... oh, wait....

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what sucks? things that suck

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops