Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

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Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

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Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

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knock knock. who's there thatsron thatsron who thatsron man

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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An irish man calls a black man a nigger. The offended black man then proceeds to ravenously beat the Irish man's head into a nearby curb.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

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Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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