You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse than ten dead babies? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Hear the one about the giraffe and the clown? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Are You McDonalds Because I'm Loving It

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? Pretty much anything is funnier than that. What's wrong with you?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you call a black man? By his first name.

thumb_up thumb_down -124

The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

thumb_up thumb_down -168

A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

69

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops