How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

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What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

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What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poetry show me your tits

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What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

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How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A fly without wings.

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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Are you a tree? No.

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whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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