- Anti Joke

Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and there wasn't a sufficient wheelchair ramp at his access.

SUBway eat fresh ZOMbies eat fleash

Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

Someone stole my cookie from the cookie jar! So I bought another cookie.

Goldilocks walks into a bar. But its not really a bar, it's a bear cave and she is eaten by porridge eating bears.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was a cold day

A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

Why was the little boy crying? Because he had an undescended testicle

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

What do you call a guy and two girls are at the bottom of the ocean? A guy and two girls at the bottom of the ocean.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and there wasn't a sufficient wheelchair ramp at his access.

SUBway eat fresh ZOMbies eat fleash

Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

Someone stole my cookie from the cookie jar! So I bought another cookie.

Goldilocks walks into a bar. But its not really a bar, it's a bear cave and she is eaten by porridge eating bears.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was a cold day

Why was the little boy crying? Because he had an undescended testicle

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

Why Can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

What is the difference between a rat and an italian? nothing.

What do a gas and a liquid have in common? Nothing

What is yellow and corny? Corn.

Priority parking for hybrid cars

Your Mom

I saw a "Baby on Board" bumper sticker on a car TARGET AQUIRED

Donald Trump

Roses are black Violets are white I'm colorblind

>posts joke >mistaken for anti-joke

Why are lizards broke? Because they run around the desert with no money...

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The third one is for you

What do you call a guy and two girls are at the bottom of the ocean? A guy and two girls at the bottom of the ocean.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??