say cheese

Who are you texting? YOUR MOTHER.

There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

If life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic..

Why did the boy go to the CONCENTRATION camp. He was a Jew

so a mom is like so what you want hunny and the dad goes like you baby bahahahahaa get it?

I hate it when I go running and my diick always gets road rash from being dragged So I cut it off

What's worse than a baby in a blender? Two babies in a blender

How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic men? 25

Roses are red violets are blue you have cancer......

Q. What do you call 2 black men on a bike? A. Organised Crime

Christopher Walken steps into a bar.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

What did the President give his wife for her birthday? Women's Rights.

Why did the black man have to stand in the bus? All of the other seats were taken.

A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

how do you beat up 3 year old with ease? you beat her up, 3 years can't fight for shit.

What do Jews suck? Because they lie, steal money, and start wars.

Why do we need to keep answering encryption codes? Because you can't keep a good Jew down (Wyndellberg)

What's worse than seeing Levi naked? Cancer.

Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

what did tyrone want for Christmas? A dad.

What did the peanut say to the jelly

Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? Because he wants to hide the fact he knocked up a chicken.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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