Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

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Why did the lights turn off? Because I turned them off.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot

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How do you know when a ghost is lying? I don't know because I've never met one, so from personal experience I couldn't tell you.

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The biggest lie ever. "I do" -Kim Kardashian

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How do you make a japanese man horny? Mutilate his girlfriend

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why does Santa Clause eat cookies? Because cookies not part of a balanced diet.

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Who is the girl that has had sex with over 10 guys? Georgia Hidi

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Enough with the "whats worse than ... "jokes! They are getting old and have a millon different possible answers. I am aware that this is not a joke but thumbs up if you aggree with.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had herpes.

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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I hate it when I go running and my diick always gets road rash from being dragged So I cut it off

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Two blondes get in a taxi. Who's driving? The taxi driver.

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Why did the boy go to the CONCENTRATION camp. He was a Jew

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Who are you texting? YOUR MOTHER.

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say cheese

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If life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic..

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so a mom is like so what you want hunny and the dad goes like you baby bahahahahaa get it?

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What's worse than a baby in a blender? Two babies in a blender

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Would anyone like to contribute to my slush fund?

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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A man named Joe has practiced drawing cartoon characters his entire life. When Joe turns 15 he decides to enter a local drawing competeiton. Joe works very hard drawing his cartoon and finally finishes. When it is the time to hand in his drawing his drawing, he hands it in an receives a satisfying 2nd place and continues on with his life. Two years later Joe decides to enter another drawing competeiton (this one much more competitive) after his drawing skills have tremendously increased. He begins drawing and is 3/4 of the way finished when Joe is brutally murdered by a mentally disturbed man and cannot hand in his art work and is therefore disqualified from the competeiton and loses.

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What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops