Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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Stare at the person nearest to you and say "sprinkles" with the straightest face possible.

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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Q.why is there so much drama? A.it's a reality tv show.

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Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

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why did the blond sop at a red light? because it was red.

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you ever hear the joke about the rabbi, the pope and an elephant? No? well its a good one...

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There was a fat man crying. I just told him the local Mc D's was arson attacked.

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A planes crashes on the US-Canada border. The survivors are promptly taken to a hospital nearby to be treated for their injuries.

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Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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How did the 8 year old child die? He was raped at the age of 7 and given the STD of AIDS. His clock then started as his family cried about his final days of his life.

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69

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"You know what my motto in life is?" "No" "Oh, that's a shame."

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What do you have Canasta!!! Were not playing canasta you stupid asshole

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were belongs

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Why did the black kid fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome

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WHY CANT THE ENGLISH MAN FIND HIS.....PANTS? BECAUSE HE NEEDED TO LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! LOOK HARDER ENGLISHMAN!!!!!!!!LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yell this joke out loud and u will realize that its really funny!!! ^-^

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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an athiest walks into a church

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm schizophrenic. And so am I!

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Q: What's small and can't read? A: A candybar

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Whats luckier than finding a lucky penny? winning the lottery.

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name one thing that is impossible!! A sober irishman

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Hey, you know what sucks about being blind? You can see.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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