There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

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"Is this the Krusty Krab?" "Yes. What would you like to order?"

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why did the chicken cross the road? dunno. i wasnt there.

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What do you call a dead, black child? Dead.

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*Knock knock! "Who's there?" "Jehovah's witness" .....

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bill Bill Who? Builder

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The president, Oprah and Abraham Lincoln are sitting in a crashing airplane. lol

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What did the statue say to the other statue? Nothing, statues cant speak.

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Why did the little boy get food poisoning? Because his family can't afford to buy organic food, and can only afford McDonald's burgers, where their cows are forced to stand in their own feces.

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Man 1: HEY DUDE! Man 2: Go shoot yourself

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

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What did the Dinosaur say to the other dinosaur when he saw a huge meteor? Oh hey look a meteor.

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Why won't lance Armstrong survive 2012 Because he has cancer

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Why do you never see hippopotamus hiding in trees? They are really good at it.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why would you call a child douche bag? Cause they're sterile

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What do you call a blonde who tries to swim on land? - Stupid.

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Are you gay? No. Ok.

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Why did the man stop having seizure? Because his condition was recognized and he was properly medicated.

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Why did the Asian eat rice? Because its food

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Roses are red, Violets are Violate and not fucking blue.

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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A man walks in on his wife blowing Bubbles. Two weeks later they are divorced.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops