a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

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Roses are red, violets are blue i've got a gun, pointing at you

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your mum. Your mum who? Dinner is ready, come down stairs.

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oh no, i've lost my tractor

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I am a joke. I am funny.

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Why did the deaf man attend the music concert? He was invited by friends and wasn't doing anyhting else that evening.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

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What's the only thing a Black Hole can't absorb? Nothing. It absorbs everything, even light.

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A dog, a cat, and a a fish were having a conversation while their owners were away. Ashton Kutcher is a murderer.

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Whats worse than death? Living in Agonising pain for the rest of the life that happens to be reading this statement.

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Q: What did the man say when he tried to commit suicide by jumping off a 20 storie building? A: Ow!

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N Porn.

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What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

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holy F**k someone call an ambulance!

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What did the bartender say to the black guy? hi there

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Yo mamma is so weird most people try to avoid her.

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What does these 3 words all have in common? terrifiant, hrollvekjandi, Przera?aj?ce They all mean the same thing describing Ian! CREEPY

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How did Princess Diana cross the road? Through the windshield

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Why did the Romans conquer everyone? They were power-hungry.

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What do you call a praying mantis at your door step? a Jehovah Witness

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knock knock who's there i lost my wallet my nan died

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A gay Asian guy walks into a gay bar where he found a fruity looking black man... The Asian went up to the black man and said, " how'r they hanging?" shocked with anger, the black man hits him in the face, knocks him to the ground and said, " YOU DO NOT TALK TO MY FAMILY THAT WAY. BOTH MY GRANPARENTS WERE LYNCHED!!!" the Asian stands up and brushes himself off... He turns to the black guy and says " I meant the balance scale at the table you were were sitting at" the black fellow turns to the table with the notebook and the balance scale with rocks on both sides that he was sitting at... He turns back to the Asian man and apologizes for his rude behavior and buys him a drink... (2 hours later) they have sex

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Ask me if my name is Jennifer. Is your name Jennifer? No.

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tom pauling

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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