What did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing. They're muffins.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

If a tree falls down in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does God exist?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Say silk 5 times. Silk Silk Silk Silk Silk Now what do cows drink? Water.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was the man late for work? Because he slept in.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the little girl fall of the swing? -because she had no arms Why didn't she get back up? -because she had no legs Why diddn't anyone help her? -because she was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

u jelly?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa Claus is a fictional old man who flies around delivering gifts, while Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse than slipping on a bannana peel? The Gestapo. Go to Aushwitz now.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Chrysanthemums our orange violettes are musical

thumb_up thumb_down +22

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a beagle and an eagle mixed together? A beagle.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why couldn't the white child dunk the basketball? His legs were amputated and he has been confined to a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Steve

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a man with no arms? A cripple.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the man destroy his piano? He may have been frustrated with himself for making mistakes during practice.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

thumb_up thumb_down +22

You mom is so fat she appeals to my secret fetish.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops